December referrals

This time every month we get notice of the latest referrals that have been sent from China. A referral is what we will receive when we have finally been matched with a child. It will list all the known information about our daughter. This months referrals went through December 14, 2005 (yes, the backlog is officially 2 years, and growing!). That means we now have 28 days of LIDS ahead of us (we are Jan. 12, 2006). That sounds like we are getting really close, and we are making progress, but unfortunately it will still take several months to get through those 28 days. The CCAA matches about 5-8 days of LIDS per month.

Here is my "guess" on referrals for the coming months:
Dec.'07 - matched through Dec. 14, 2005 (confirmed)
Jan.'08- matched through Dec. 20, 2005
Feb. '08- matched through Dec. 26, 2005
March '08- matched through Dec. 31, 2005
April '08- matched through Jan. 6, 2006
May '08 - matched through Jan. 12, 2006 (that's us)

As you can see, we still have several months to wait. In some earlier posts I said I thought we would get a referral in February or March. Well, I no longer think that will happen. It has been pushed back every single month since we started this long process. But we are finally getting close enough that we can at least narrow it down to a 2 month window (assuming the CCAA continues at the same pace). I'm guessing April/May now. And who knows, it could be longer.

Thanksgiving in a Tuscan Castle

Anyone that knows me, knows how much I truly do NOT enjoy cooking. So when I saw an opportunity to spend Thanksgiving in a castle in Tuscany I thought WHY NOT? We decided to take a USO tour that will drive us very early in the morning to a castle in Tuscany where they will serve us an Italian version of thanksgiving dinner. WOW! Now that's something to be thankful for!! The tour includes one overnight in the castle, the Italian dinner, and guided tours of two cities in Tuscany--Siena and San Gimignano. Also, we will stop at a winery in Tuscany for a wine tasting (with the option to buy the wine, of course!!!!) I am so excited about this trip. Nothing to plan, no getting lost, no worries about the language. All we have to do is show up at the appointed time and let them do all the work.

It's been a long week for us...everyone in our family has been really sick with the flu. It started with Tara (hers turned into pneumonia) and then we all passed it around. Alex has missed school all this week, and he is still not feeling great, but I told him we have to take this trip because it's already paid for and non-refundable!! I think he will be ok though...he is feeling better. Now we all have really bad coughs, but I think the worst is over. (I HOPE!!)

Last year at our Thanksgiving meal we prayed for all that we were thankful for, and I remember praying that I was thankful that this would be our last Thanksgiving without our daughter. NEVER did I dream that a year later we would still be waiting to bring her home. This year we will pray again and be thankful that THIS is the last Thanksgiving we will have without our daughter. We have so very many things we are thankful for, and we will forever be thankful that God led us down this path and opened our hearts to adoption.

November referrals

The latest set of referrals arrived from China a few weeks ago. The cutoff date for this month was December 8. We are getting so close now, and remain hopeful that we will receive our referral in February or March with travel to China in April or May.

Happy Halloween!

Tara wanted to be a Chinese princess this year for Halloween....I wonder where she came up with this idea??? She wanted to wear a kimono. I told her that a kimono was really a Japanese dress, but she still insisted on being a Chinese princess. So a Chinese princess she is. She is certainly beautiful. A big thank you to GeeGee for sending the costume. She absolutely loved it.

It rained here all afternoon and then stopped for exactly two hours--just in time for trick-or-treating. I had purchased 12 bags of candy and started passing it out at 5:30. I was out by 6:15!! We have LOTS of kids that live on the base. Tara had a great time and came home with quite a load of candy!

Alex wore a mask of Freddy Kruger, so I didn't even take his picture. Imagine Freddy Kruger, and you have Alex. He also scored big in the candy, but I think he also enjoyed scaring all of the little kids. He is such a 12 year old boy!!

An active vacation

Our baby is always in our thoughts and prayers. On this particular weekend we frequently thought about how this was not a vacation we could have taken if we had her with us. Yes, we are anxiously awaiting her arrival, but in the mean time we are taking advantage of our last few months without diapers, strollers, and nap time.

Day One: We rented bikes in a town called Lucca in the region of Tuscany. Tara takes time out for a cheerleading pose in front of a church.

Day Two: We hiked an area of Italy called the Cinque Terra along the Mediterranean Sea. It was absolutely beautiful. And the hike was not for the weak of heart!!

Day Three: We climbed the Leaning Tower of Pisa. I had somewhat of a panic attack once I reached the top and quickly decided that I am not climbing any more towers! At least I ended with a famous one.

Why the long wait?

There are many theories and much speculation about what is happening with Chinese adoptions and why adoptive families are having to wait so long to receive their child.

We all know about the China one child policy and the preference for boys. We have heard the stories about Chinese orphanages that are filled with little girls. So if this is the case, why the wait?

The only official statement that has been provided by the CCAA is that the wait is dependent on the number of children that are available. Period. So that leads one to believe that since the wait is well over 2 years, that there are not that many children available for adoption. Many Chinese adoption "experts" say this is simply not true. Who should we believe???

Here are a few THEORIES. Remember, this is pure speculation. Nothing has been confirmed or denied by the CCAA.

These are the positive THEORIES:
1) As the Chinese economy continues to prosper, more and more families are able to pay the penalties for having more than one child. Also, in certain regions and circumstances, the government is allowing families to have more than one child and abandonment is on the decline.
2) Domestic adoption is on the rise in China. Again, more families are beginning to have more money and domestic adoptions are occurring more and more frequently.

I truly hope those two theories are true.

These are the not so positive THEORIES:
1) The Olympics are being held in China in the summer of 2008. The world's spotlight will be on China in many different areas. Many believe that the Chinese don't want to appear as the world's leading exporter of babies. They think the slowdown has been directly related to the Olympics and the need to save face.
2) The CCAA has been given a direct quota by the government as to the amount of children that are allowed to be adopted internationally. They cannot go over this quota, regardless of the number of children that wait in orphanages.
3) Adoption seems to be sort of the "in" thing to do, and over the past 2-3 years China was flooded with applications for international adoption. The amount of applications far out number the number of available children.
4) China is wanting to increase the number of adoption of special needs children. They are making the wait much longer for children that do not have special needs in hopes that more families will adopt children with special needs.
5) China is wanting to keep healthy girls in their country to help balance out the gender imbalance (this one I personally think is ridiculous because the number of girls adopted internationally is a drop in the bucket compared to China's overall population...I personally think international adoption plays a VERY minuscule part in the gender imbalance. VERY minuscule.)

Again, NONE of these theories are confirmed. The bottom line is, no one knows for sure why the long wait.

We have grown to the point of acceptance of knowing we have zero control of our adoption process. The wait is what it is. So we wait. We hope and pray that things will speed up, but we have decided to plant ourselves firmly in the line until our day comes. We believe that eventually we will hold our little girl.

The rumors turned to facts....

It's that time of month when I can say YES, we have heard something from our agency!! This months referrals have arrived. This is good news since it at least proves that Chinese adoptions are in fact occurring, they are just moving at a snail's pace.

I know I keep repeating this, but to understand all of this you have to keep in mind that our log in date (LID) is January 12, 2006. We are waiting for the CCAA (Chinese Center for Adoption Affairs) to work their way to that date in their matching process. This month they matched families that were logged in through November 30, 2005. This is dismal at best since many people (myself included) believed the CCAA would begin matching families that were logged in during December '05. If the CCAA would have matched a few dates into December I would have felt a glimmer of hope this month, but instead I feel even more discouraged and disappointed (because they only matched 5 days worth of LIDS this month). It's as though my brain knows the reality, but my heart hopes for a miracle. Our wait continues for several more months....

One thing I believe with absolute certainty - we have a daughter somewhere in China. She is unaware of the family that is waiting for her, but we love her already and we know that our family will not be complete until we bring her home. It is a day we wait for with great anticipation.

Adoption cyber world

Now that I am no longer employed, I find that I have lots more free time to do things that I use to never have time for...case in point, this blog! I could easily spend hours on the computer reading all the adoption rumors, reading other people's adoption blogs, adoption chat groups, etc. I sometimes find myself a little addicted to the adoption cyber world, and have to bring myself back to reality. But as I said before, my reality is I'm still waiting. So here I sit on the computer.

There are currently lots of rumors floating around about the next set of referrals that should be arriving any day now. Most of the rumors are NOT good news, but after almost 2 years of reading rumors I have accepted them for what they are...rumors. I try not to let my heart get too involved until it becomes fact. Unfortunately, the fact of Chinese adoptions right now is that the wait continues to lengthen and no one knows for certain exactly why. Everyone seems to have their own theories, but no one really knows for sure. Think of how little we know about the inner workings of our own government...how can a foreigner ever really understand the inner workings of the Chinese government and how it operates it's international adoptions?

Back to reality, and off to bed. Tomorrow is a new day and most likely a new set of rumors. I'll keep you posted should anything factual actually take place.

A sign from God?

Several weeks ago, I begrudgingly submitted my application to substitute teach at the school on the military base. Anyone that has ever filled out an application to work for the federal government knows that this is no small task...it's really more of a booklet than an application. I spent days filling out the application trying to remember dates, names, addresses and details of all the places I have lived and worked in my adult life. It was very time consuming and I complained the entire time that I had no idea WHY I was even applying to substitute teach. But, I eventually completed the application booklet and submitted it to the school. The secretary told me that it would take several weeks for me to get an effective date to begin work, but assured me that I would be hired since I am a certified teacher. Several weeks have passed, so I finally called the school to find out the status of my application. After being on hold for over 5 minutes, the secretary comes back on the phone and tells me that they cannot find any record of my application. They have, in fact, lost it.

I suppose I should have been angry about this considering the amount of time I invested in my decision to even apply for the job, not to mention the time spent actually filling out the tedious forms. But I'm not angry, I'm overjoyed!!! I took this as a sure sign from God that I am not suppose to work outside my home. OK, so this wasn't one of those lightening bolt moments when you know for a fact that God is speaking to your heart, but it was all the sign I needed to not continue on my quest for a job (at least while we live in Italy)!!

Bring on our baby...she has a stay-at-home mommy waiting for her!!!

Pictures from Italy

On September 1, we rented a boat for the day and went out on the Mediterranean Sea. It was absolutely beautiful and one of the best days we have had in Italy. We went swimming, snorkeling, and enjoyed the crystal clear blue water and the warm sunshine. We stopped on the island of Procida and had some pizza and pasta. It was surreal and one of those times I needed the pictures to prove I didn't just dream the entire event. It was definitely one of those days we will always remember.

Tara joins the ladybug craze

Alex is 12 years old! (August 31)

I'm a little late posting the picture, but I suppose it's better late than never. Alex opted for an Oreo Ice Cream dessert rather than the traditional birthday cake. It was yummy!

Ho Hum

Ever feel like you're just waiting for the next big thing to happen...like you are just going through the motions but your heart is set on something else? That's kind of how I feel. Just waiting. I'm in this colossal waiting room, waiting, on something, anything. And I have that feeling in my stomach. You know the feeling, that butterfly feeling, that nervousness, that excitement, that anticipation of what's to come. Except, I wake up every day with the reality that I must wait some more. It's coming, I can feel it, but it's just not time...yet.

Did you know?

The term "oriental" should not be used when describing a person. It is not the politically correct term when referring to a person and is considered offensive in some instances and outdated (like referring to an African American as colored). Oriental should only be used when referring to objects: oriental furniture, oriental rug, oriental art, etc. When describing or referring to a person one should use the term Asian. Remember, things are oriental, people are not.

I feel a little "uneducated" for not being aware of this, but it's not something that comes up in every day conversation (especially in rural Oklahoma). Thankfully, I didn't make the mistake, instead I came across this discussion on one of my online adoption websites and thought it was interesting and certainly something we all need to know.

I can't take any credit for this one....

Not only did I NOT write the poem, but I have to admit that I "stole" it from my friend Lynsey's blog. It speaks volumes about what is really important in life.

Some would gather money
Along the path of life,
Some would gather roses,
And rest from worldly strife;
But, I would gather children
From among the thorns of sin,
I would seek a golden curl,
And a freckled, toothless grin.
For money cannot enter
In that land of endless day,
And roses that are gathered
Soon will wilt along the way.
But, Oh, the laughing children,
As I cross the sunset sea,
And the gates swing wide to heaven
I can take them in with me.
-unknown

LADYBUGS and the crib

Ladybugs are considered a lucky charm and a sign of good fortune. They have become a symbol of good luck for families adopting from China. It is common to see pictures of ladybugs on literature, blogs, and books related to Chinese adoption. At first I thought the whole ladybug idea was a little corny and I didn't really buy into it. Now, 2 years later, I have decided to embrace the whole ladybug belief. Hey, anything to bring a little "luck" to speed up our referral.

Tara is going to share a room with the baby, at least while we live in Italy. Several months ago I found a really cute bedspread that was yellow with ladybugs and butterflies, so I bought it for Tara's bed. An added bonus was that it matched the red furniture that use to be in Alex's room that we moved into Tara's room. So now I have decided to stick with the ladybug theme for the baby's crib....which by the way we put up last week! We have had the crib for several months and I just decided I wanted to put it up, so we did. Anyway, I have been searching online for ladybug bedding, and there are several to choose from. Once I get it all done I will post a picture.

People say that when it's time for the CCAA to match you with your child, an indication will be that you will start to see ladybugs on certain days, usually many of them. So start looking for those ladybugs and let me know when you see them!!!

Making SLOW progress

The monthly referrals just arrived from China and the CCAA matched families with LID's through 11-25-05. That means this past month they only matched 4 days worth of LID's since last month's cut off was 11-21-05. I'm trying to stay positive about it though...at least we are 4 days closer than last month (our LID is 1-12-06).

I have joined just about every internet group I can find related to China adoptions. My personal favorite is one called Rumor Queen, where I really find lots of valuable information to help me determine when we might get our referral. Based on all of the info. from that site and various others it still seems very likely that our referral will come in February or March with travel 6 weeks after referral!

We made the headlines!

My friend, Lynsey, and I have started an adoption support group here in Naples. The group serves as a way to connect with other families that have adopted children; however, our real desire is to reach those families that are just considering adoption and don't know how, where, when or IF they should start the process. We hope that all of our adoptive families serve as an inspiration for other people to embark on this life changing journey.

Read the story here:
http://stripes.com/article.asp?section=104&article=48362

August referrals

We are making progress....August referrals matched through 11-21-05 (remember we are 01-12-06). That is keeping right on track with my prediction of receiving our referral in February or March of 2008....the CCAA is very unpredictable and could speed up or slow down even more, but for now I am holding firm in my belief that we will travel to China in the Spring!

My best guess

It's only a guess...but I think we are about 8 months away from receiving our referral. The cut off date for the July referrals was 11-14-05. Our LID is 01-12-06, so that means we are 8 weeks away from the most current cut off date. The CCAA has been completing about 1 week of LIDS per month, which gives me the 8 month prediction. So, that means my guess for a referral is March and travel in late April. We certainly hope that it will be sooner, but we remain hopeful that the long wait is nearing the end.

Remember, we have not been "matched" with a child, so it's not as though our baby is growing older throughout this long wait. She could have just recently been born for all we know. Once we are matched with a child, we will travel within 6 weeks to get her. We have no idea who she is, but hopefully that is exactly what we will find out in 8 months or less!

A Child's Right

Clean drinking water is one of the many things Americans take for granted. We often forget that much of the rest of the world considers clean water a luxury.

A Child’s Right is a non-profit organization that is dedicated to providing children all over the world with clean water. Their latest project took them to 8 different orphanages in China. And they have pictures. Lots and lots of pictures.

www.a-childs-right.org/projects.html
(copy and paste the website into your browser to view the pictures)

There are 184 pictures in all, just keep clicking the little plus sign at the bottom right.

There are pictures of cities and countryside and (of course) the water systems, but best of all are the pictures taken in the orphanages. If you’ve never seen pictures of the inside of an orphanage in China, here is your chance.

The pictures show very different conditions in the various orphanages. I thought it was very interesting and offers a rare opportunity to view the inside of an orphanage and the children.

Comments

I have changed the settings so that anyone should be able to post a comment without being a registered user. Someone please try it so I know it works. Thanks!

June referrals have arrived!

First, let me try and explain what I mean by a referral. The Chinese Center for Adoption Affairs (CCAA) handles all international adoptions from China. The CCAA will choose our child for us...we were only able to request the age and sex of our child, nothing else. When we FINALLY find out which child the CCAA has matched us with, they will send what is called our REFERRAL to our adoption agency in the United States and then our adoption agency will contact us with the details of our baby (pictures, age, medical info).

Referrals arrive once a month from China at various adoption agencies all over the U.S. We are always notified every month when our agency has received their referrals and we know exactly where we stand in the process, or line, so to speak.

We are no longer in the very back of the line, but we still have a lot of families in front of us. I'll keep you posted, but it's still many months before we receive our referral. It's still very exciting when referrals arrive every month at our agency because we know we are one month closer to seeing our baby's face!

So, what is the latest news?

Well, not much really. We continue to wait and wait. We hope, dream, wish, pray to hear something around December and then travel to China maybe February of 2008. Never did we dream when we started this process 2 years ago that it would take this long! We know that our little girl will be worth the wait, but we are so anxious to bring her home!

Trying something new

I though it might be fun to create a blog so that anyone that is interested can follow us on our adoption journey. My computer skills are some what limited, so I thought this would give me a chance to learn something new about the world of "blogging"and at the same time keep everyone informed with all of the latest news on our adoption.

There will probably be days and weeks pass that I won't post anything, because we often go at least that long without any updates from our agency. As the months pass and the big day gets closer, I will try and post more regularly.