Two years of waiting

Yesterday was our 2 year anniversary of the day our paperwork was officially logged in with the China Center for Adoption Affairs. Two years ago we were told our wait would be 6-8 months. Now, two years later, we are still looking at a 6-8 month wait. It's as though time has stood still in regards to our adoption. But in those two years of waiting I have thought about our daughter every single day. I have periods of time that she is ALL I think about. I have tried to stay active with our adoption plans: in the two years of waiting I have tried to read every book I can about adoption, I have started an adoption support group here in Naples, I have made friends with other adoptive families, I have joined internet groups with other adoptive parents, and I scan the internet daily looking for all the latest information on Chinese adoptions. I have learned a lot, and know that I still have much to learn.

This wait has been difficult in so many ways. I struggle with it everyday and often find myself questioning and worrying about the details of when it will all happen. But I do know with absolute certainty that with every passing day our desire to finally meet and hold our baby does not diminish, instead it grows stronger and stronger. We feel more certain about our decision to adopt today than we did two years ago. We want her, we love her, and we know that she is part of God's plan for our lives. We know that our family will not be complete until we bring her home. So we wait for as long as it takes.

December referrals

This time every month we get notice of the latest referrals that have been sent from China. A referral is what we will receive when we have finally been matched with a child. It will list all the known information about our daughter. This months referrals went through December 14, 2005 (yes, the backlog is officially 2 years, and growing!). That means we now have 28 days of LIDS ahead of us (we are Jan. 12, 2006). That sounds like we are getting really close, and we are making progress, but unfortunately it will still take several months to get through those 28 days. The CCAA matches about 5-8 days of LIDS per month.

Here is my "guess" on referrals for the coming months:
Dec.'07 - matched through Dec. 14, 2005 (confirmed)
Jan.'08- matched through Dec. 20, 2005
Feb. '08- matched through Dec. 26, 2005
March '08- matched through Dec. 31, 2005
April '08- matched through Jan. 6, 2006
May '08 - matched through Jan. 12, 2006 (that's us)

As you can see, we still have several months to wait. In some earlier posts I said I thought we would get a referral in February or March. Well, I no longer think that will happen. It has been pushed back every single month since we started this long process. But we are finally getting close enough that we can at least narrow it down to a 2 month window (assuming the CCAA continues at the same pace). I'm guessing April/May now. And who knows, it could be longer.

Thanksgiving in a Tuscan Castle

Anyone that knows me, knows how much I truly do NOT enjoy cooking. So when I saw an opportunity to spend Thanksgiving in a castle in Tuscany I thought WHY NOT? We decided to take a USO tour that will drive us very early in the morning to a castle in Tuscany where they will serve us an Italian version of thanksgiving dinner. WOW! Now that's something to be thankful for!! The tour includes one overnight in the castle, the Italian dinner, and guided tours of two cities in Tuscany--Siena and San Gimignano. Also, we will stop at a winery in Tuscany for a wine tasting (with the option to buy the wine, of course!!!!) I am so excited about this trip. Nothing to plan, no getting lost, no worries about the language. All we have to do is show up at the appointed time and let them do all the work.

It's been a long week for us...everyone in our family has been really sick with the flu. It started with Tara (hers turned into pneumonia) and then we all passed it around. Alex has missed school all this week, and he is still not feeling great, but I told him we have to take this trip because it's already paid for and non-refundable!! I think he will be ok though...he is feeling better. Now we all have really bad coughs, but I think the worst is over. (I HOPE!!)

Last year at our Thanksgiving meal we prayed for all that we were thankful for, and I remember praying that I was thankful that this would be our last Thanksgiving without our daughter. NEVER did I dream that a year later we would still be waiting to bring her home. This year we will pray again and be thankful that THIS is the last Thanksgiving we will have without our daughter. We have so very many things we are thankful for, and we will forever be thankful that God led us down this path and opened our hearts to adoption.

November referrals

The latest set of referrals arrived from China a few weeks ago. The cutoff date for this month was December 8. We are getting so close now, and remain hopeful that we will receive our referral in February or March with travel to China in April or May.

Happy Halloween!

Tara wanted to be a Chinese princess this year for Halloween....I wonder where she came up with this idea??? She wanted to wear a kimono. I told her that a kimono was really a Japanese dress, but she still insisted on being a Chinese princess. So a Chinese princess she is. She is certainly beautiful. A big thank you to GeeGee for sending the costume. She absolutely loved it.

It rained here all afternoon and then stopped for exactly two hours--just in time for trick-or-treating. I had purchased 12 bags of candy and started passing it out at 5:30. I was out by 6:15!! We have LOTS of kids that live on the base. Tara had a great time and came home with quite a load of candy!

Alex wore a mask of Freddy Kruger, so I didn't even take his picture. Imagine Freddy Kruger, and you have Alex. He also scored big in the candy, but I think he also enjoyed scaring all of the little kids. He is such a 12 year old boy!!

An active vacation

Our baby is always in our thoughts and prayers. On this particular weekend we frequently thought about how this was not a vacation we could have taken if we had her with us. Yes, we are anxiously awaiting her arrival, but in the mean time we are taking advantage of our last few months without diapers, strollers, and nap time.

Day One: We rented bikes in a town called Lucca in the region of Tuscany. Tara takes time out for a cheerleading pose in front of a church.

Day Two: We hiked an area of Italy called the Cinque Terra along the Mediterranean Sea. It was absolutely beautiful. And the hike was not for the weak of heart!!

Day Three: We climbed the Leaning Tower of Pisa. I had somewhat of a panic attack once I reached the top and quickly decided that I am not climbing any more towers! At least I ended with a famous one.

Why the long wait?

There are many theories and much speculation about what is happening with Chinese adoptions and why adoptive families are having to wait so long to receive their child.

We all know about the China one child policy and the preference for boys. We have heard the stories about Chinese orphanages that are filled with little girls. So if this is the case, why the wait?

The only official statement that has been provided by the CCAA is that the wait is dependent on the number of children that are available. Period. So that leads one to believe that since the wait is well over 2 years, that there are not that many children available for adoption. Many Chinese adoption "experts" say this is simply not true. Who should we believe???

Here are a few THEORIES. Remember, this is pure speculation. Nothing has been confirmed or denied by the CCAA.

These are the positive THEORIES:
1) As the Chinese economy continues to prosper, more and more families are able to pay the penalties for having more than one child. Also, in certain regions and circumstances, the government is allowing families to have more than one child and abandonment is on the decline.
2) Domestic adoption is on the rise in China. Again, more families are beginning to have more money and domestic adoptions are occurring more and more frequently.

I truly hope those two theories are true.

These are the not so positive THEORIES:
1) The Olympics are being held in China in the summer of 2008. The world's spotlight will be on China in many different areas. Many believe that the Chinese don't want to appear as the world's leading exporter of babies. They think the slowdown has been directly related to the Olympics and the need to save face.
2) The CCAA has been given a direct quota by the government as to the amount of children that are allowed to be adopted internationally. They cannot go over this quota, regardless of the number of children that wait in orphanages.
3) Adoption seems to be sort of the "in" thing to do, and over the past 2-3 years China was flooded with applications for international adoption. The amount of applications far out number the number of available children.
4) China is wanting to increase the number of adoption of special needs children. They are making the wait much longer for children that do not have special needs in hopes that more families will adopt children with special needs.
5) China is wanting to keep healthy girls in their country to help balance out the gender imbalance (this one I personally think is ridiculous because the number of girls adopted internationally is a drop in the bucket compared to China's overall population...I personally think international adoption plays a VERY minuscule part in the gender imbalance. VERY minuscule.)

Again, NONE of these theories are confirmed. The bottom line is, no one knows for sure why the long wait.

We have grown to the point of acceptance of knowing we have zero control of our adoption process. The wait is what it is. So we wait. We hope and pray that things will speed up, but we have decided to plant ourselves firmly in the line until our day comes. We believe that eventually we will hold our little girl.