My to do list

My to do list is growing by the minute. Unfortunately, the to do list is not written down on paper because that would mean that I would know where to find a pencil and paper in the mass clutter in my house. Instead the list is in my head, just playing over and over like a broken record. I can not believe how behind I am in every single daily task of my life. I just sort of walk around from room to room in bewilderment on where and how to start. I think I'm making progress and then along comes Hannah. Ahh, life with a toddler. She is such a sweet, precious baby but that does not keep her from getting into EVERYTHING!!!! She just follows me around all day long babbling and making messes. And just like every other baby on the planet she requires lots of attention. She needs to eat, needs to be changed, needs to be held, needs to play....you get the idea.

And speaking of miss Hannah, she is doing great. We have had her first doctor visit and was given the official all clear that she does NOT appear to have any medical concerns. We also went through a developmental screening and she is right on target developmentally in all areas with only a very slight delay in speech (which is certainly to be expected given we don't speak Chinese!!). It is obvious that she now understands what we say to her, but she doesn't say any words yet other than MA MA MA MA MA MA MA MA, and she says that all day long as she follows me from room to room. Well, she also says 'bye' on occasion and something that sounds very similar to TAAAAA, which we think is her version of Tara. But really she is doing amazingly well considering all she has been through in the past 2 months. She is doing much better with Matt now, although we all still have our pecking order...Tara is her numero uno for sure, then I usually come in 2nd, Alex is 3rd, and Matt is 4th. I really suspect that will change as she gets more comfortable with Matt each day. Somehow I think though she will always have a special connection with Tara, and even Alex. They both have a different type of relationship forming with her and it is obvious that she adores both of them (and they equally adore her!!) They both help me so much with her and I am so blessed to have them.

Tomorrow is the first day of school. WOO YOO!! Tara starts 4th grade and Alex starts 7th grade. Tara is a little nervous and Alex is just mad that he has to get up so early. He just can't seem to understand WHY school has to start so EARLY??? Matt is also taking a college class (only 2 more to go until he graduates!!!) and between working 60+ hours a week and this class he is staying busy.

So anyway, if you have emailed me recently (or not so recently) and I have not replied, I promise you are on my to do list that is spinning in my head. I will eventually reply, just not sure when?? But I do appreciate all the emails, comments, prayers, and words of encouragement that everyone has offered over the past several months. Knowing that I have such a strong support group filled with friends and family is such a comforting feeling. I won't lie, life with a new toddler is hard. Our lives are very different than they were a few months ago. But we can't imagine it any other way. A dear friend asked me tonight if I still look at Hannah and can't believe that all of this is real. I just laughed and said yes, it is all very, very real to me now. I dreamed about her, prayed for her, thought about her for so long. Now the chaos in my house helps to show me how incredibly real she is. But I know that she belongs in this house. She belongs in our family. She is ours. She is loved, wanted, and cherished. Even in the chaos.